On the eve of his teen-heavy Mohegan show (and birthday party!) we sat down with Donnie D to discuss French kissing, the Natick Mall, and the limitations of being forced to put the crack up.
Would you rather be locked in a cage with a polar bear or a tiger?
Polar bear. They seem a little friendlier, so I think my chances of survival might be better. I'm not a salmon, man. I might have a chance.
With a polar bear or Tommy Heinsohn after six fingers of scotch?
Tommy's my man, so I have to go with Tommy. I'll take a shot. I just hope I have some scotch too.
Would you rather French kiss Heidi Watney or Hazel Mae?
Heidi Watney? Isn't she going out with Varitek or something? I like Hazel Mae anyway, I gotta go with her. She's hot. I've had a longstanding crush on her.
Sonsie upstairs or Sonsie downstairs?
Hmmm...that's a good question. I think i'm Sonsie downstairs. I've only been there once, it was sort of like the underbelly of Sonsie, it's kinda dark, I kinda liked it.
BU chicks or BC chicks?
BC chicks are more alluring, but BU chicks are the better time, so I'm going with BU chicks.
Cooler Ranch or Nacho Cheesier Doritos?
This one, I'm gonna tell you, I know sometimes new stuff is cool, but Nacho Cheese all the way. I'm not into these newfangled flavors and blue Doritos and crap. Nacho Cheese.
Which mall for Sunday shopping, Framingham or Natick?
I don't think I could afford either mall when I was younger, but I drove past Natick Mall, and it looked kinda splashy, so I'll say Natick. It looks like you gotta have a lot of money to go in there.
Who likes chicken more, Wade Boggs or Frank Perdue?
I think Frank Perdue likes to play with chickens more, and I think the question is who likes to eat chicken more, so I think it's Wade Boggs. Frank just likes to play with them and cuddle them and nurse them to plumpness.
If you're on the back up, would you rather be drug free or put the crack up?
I think I'd rather put the crack up, because it leaves other things still in play, I guess.
Ninjas or Barack Obama?
I'm going with Barack pretty much across the board for anything. He's probably got some nunchucks in his back pocket.
Who would you rather slow-dance with, Ted Williams in his prime, or Wally The Green Monster?
I can't imagine Ted Williams, even in his prime, being very cuddly, but he was the Splendid Splinter, and he was pretty smooth, so I'll go with Teddy Ballgame. That Green Monster dude is sweaty, you know he's sweaty under there, he looks cuddly, it's a trick question. You think you'd rather dance with him, it'll be comfy, and Ted Williams is sort of an ornery guy, but that sweaty dude under that costume, it wouldn't feel good, trust me.
Who do you think drinks more, Wade Boggs, or Wally The Green Monster?
Wally the Green Monster.